Checking in….

Wow – it feels like it’s been forever, when in reality it’s just been like 4-5 weeks.  As I said in my last post, I’m going to begin posting monthly-ish vs. weekly like I was before.  I made that shift mostly because I’m not sure my posts were changing or all that helpful from week to week since I’m now in maintenance.

So what’s been up with me?  Well today I realized I’ve been in maintenance for 6 months!  It’s incredible to think I’ve been able to maintain my goal weight for 6 full months.  I’m not sure why I’m so surprised I guess – maybe it’s all the times I lost SOME weight and then started putting it back on right away.  Who knows!  All I know is that I’m living life as a normal weight person.  I don’t worry every single second of every single day about what I’m eating.  Do I track everything still?  You betcha.  In fact I’m celebrating another milestone today – I’m on tracking log #100.  That’s 100 weeks of faithfully tracking my water, exercise and food.  Wow – that amazes me.  100 weeks!  I’m really proud of this.  I also think it’s key to understanding your caloric intake and just what works and what doesn’t. If I didn’t track, I think things would start creeping up on me – so this is something I’ve just accepted as being part of my life forever.  I’m tracking and I’m maintaining.  There has to be a connection there.

My stats to date:

  • Start Weight: 283.2
  • Achieved Goal Weight (included 5 lb buffer) on 2/12/16
  • Maintenance Goal:  Rock maintenance and stay between 140.0-145.0
  • Current Weight: 140.0

Recent NSVs:

  • My family went to Comic Con last weekend and not only did I dress in costume, but I felt really small and that felt FUN!
  • Even though this could also be a scale victory, I’m just proud of myself for keeping on with maintenance and for this being my 100th week of tracking – that’s pretty darn impressive (at least to me).
  • Losing the weight has allowed me to continue working on my own dream as a business owner.  I’m in my second month of business and although I’m not ready to retire from my regular, full-time job (yet), I’m well on my way!

As always, remember:

  • You are strong.
  • You are worthy.
  • Be kind to yourself.
  • Enjoy the journey.  LIVE!
  • Get out there and crush those goals!

Here’s to continuing this journey together!  Until next month….

Janell

Let’s Keep Going…..

Have you heard that phrase that the days are long but the years are short?  That’s how life feels anymore.  The days are jammed packed full of new adventures for not only me, but my entire family since it’s the summer.  There are so many fun activities during the summer that one simply can’t do around these parts when it’s cold outside, and we are taking advantage of as many as possible.

So… you guys know I’ve been in maintenance now going on 5 months.  I’ve been doing well in my humble opinion.  In fact, I’m a little shocked at how well I’ve been doing.  I feel though like I just don’t have as much to say on the blog each week.  I feel bad I don’t have helpful tidbits and such like I used to.  I just keep going and life feels like it’s normal – a new normal – but normal nonetheless.  Given the fact that I want this blog to be about sharing things to help others, I am going to scale back to a monthly post vs. weekly.  I just feel like having a month of information or insight will allow me to be more helpful to each of you.  Now don’t think I’m going away because I totally am not.  I still read YOUR blogs and respond weekly.

My stats to date:

  • Start Weight: 283.2
  • Achieved Goal Weight (included 5 lb buffer) on 2/12/16
  • Maintenance Goal:  Rock maintenance and stay between 140.0-145.0
  • Current Weight: 138.0

This week’s NSVs:

  • Plank challenge continues…I’m happy to report that I’ve continued with my plank challenge beyond the 30 days and have successfully been planking at 3 minutes every single day.
  • Going back to aerial yoga for a few sessions (they don’t run them often, but I go when they do and still LOVE it)
  • Letting go of a friendship that just doesn’t serve me anymore and being at peace with that

As always, remember:

  • You are strong.
  • You are worthy.
  • Be kind to yourself.
  • Enjoy the journey.  LIVE!
  • Get out there and crush those goals!

Here’s to continuing this journey together!  Until next month….

Janell

And…vacation is over….

Am I the only one that upon immediately returning from vacation quickly looks to see when I can request MORE time off work?   I officially returned to work on Tuesday with over 1,000 unread emails to sift through.  Ugh – BUT – vacation was worth every.single.second.

How was the beach different this year?  Last year I was post-op but only by a couple months.  Now I’m over a year out and the beach was UH-mazing!  I felt normal this year.  What do I mean by that?  I could actually eat (vs. eating like 2-3 bites last year).  Being in the gulf of course I had fish and seafood every single day.  Sure I couldn’t eat tons of it, but I enjoyed every ounce of freshness that I could tolerate.  🙂  I played football with my family, did yoga on the beach AND the best part?  I walked around in front of people and didn’t for a second think about how I looked.  I felt “normal” if that makes sense.  I love feeling normal and even blending in – because I don’t stick out (literally) anymore with my weight!

And a scale victory?  I didn’t gain a single ounce!

My stats to date:

  • Start Weight: 283.2
  • Achieved Goal Weight (included 5 lb buffer) on 2/12/16
  • Maintenance Goal:  Rock maintenance and stay between 140.0-145.0
  • Current Weight: 139.0

This week’s NSVs:

  • Plank challenge continues…I’m happy to report that I’ve continued with my plank challenge beyond the 30 days and have successfully been planking at 3 minutes every single day.
  • Beach sequences for Yoga were incredible and I felt proud I kept that up while on vaca.
  • Feeling normal.  Ahhhhhhh

As always, remember:

  • You are strong.
  • You are worthy.
  • Be kind to yourself.
  • Enjoy the journey.  LIVE!
  • Get out there and crush those goals!

Here’s to continuing this journey together!  I’ll see you in two weeks!

Janell

The Ocean is Calling Me….

Good Morning, Friends!  First wanted to share that I won’t be posting next week because I’ll be on vacation.  If you couldn’t tell by my featured pic or my title, we are heading to the beach!

Every year my family heads to the Florida panhandle for our little beach escape.  It’s my own kind of therapy.  There is just something about listening to the ocean and seeing just how wide and vast it is that makes all my perceived problems and stressors seem so insignificant.  I feel like it’s the one guaranteed time every single year that I can decompress and just….be.  I’m a very goal oriented person so I always have something I’m working on.  The surgery has contributed to that as well.  I feel just so damn good that I can’t sit still.  I always have to be moving, doing SOMEthing.  When it comes to the beach though, I can simply… be.  I’m lazy all day long and just get to spend time laughing and being totally and ridiculously silly with my son.  It’s my favorite time of year and you can bet that I’ll be enjoying every.single.second.

Last year when we were there I was just 6 weeks or so out of surgery, so I had to pack all these protein powders and shakes just to be sure I had things with me to get in my protein, etc.  It’s a nice change this year to simply pack up and go.  I know what real foods I can eat and which ones I can’t and shouldn’t.  Last year I SO wanted a few bites of this side salad that I adore at one of my favorite restaurants, but you know me… I’m a rules follower.  I didn’t touch the salad because I wasn’t released to that stage yet.  Well this year I’m so excited I can enjoy a few bites.  Let’s face it, now I could eat more than a few bites, but I need room for that protein so I’ll smile and savor each of the few bites I allow myself and just celebrate how far I’ve come over the past year or so.

My stats to date:

  • Start Weight: 283.2
  • Achieved Goal Weight (included 5 lb buffer) on 2/12/16
  • Maintenance Goal:  Rock maintenance and stay between 140.0-145.0
  • Current Weight: 139.0

This week’s NSVs:

  • Plank challenge continues…I’m happy to report that I’ve continued with my plank challenge beyond the 30 days and have successfully been planking at 3 minutes every single day.
  • Beach sequences for Yoga are packed and ready to go so that when I’m by the ocean, I can still get in some yoga moves.
  • NOT packing special things for vacation (protein powders and shakes).  I never realized how much that always made me feel so different when really all we want to feel is normal.  It’s taken awhile to get to this place, but I no longer need to pack those.  I’m able to eat enough protein in normal meals to meet my body’s requirements.

As always, remember:

  • You are strong.
  • You are worthy.
  • Be kind to yourself.
  • Enjoy the journey.  LIVE!
  • Get out there and crush those goals!

Here’s to continuing this journey together!  I’ll see you in two weeks!

Janell

Maintenance – It’s hard.

Well I’ve officially be in maintenance for over 3 months now and it’s not easy.  I didn’t expect it to be easy if I’m being honest.  I know it’s almost harder than losing the weight itself, but mentally it’s just really different and screws with you so much.

Have I maintained my weight loss?  Yes.  Have I struggled doing it?  Yes.  As you might recall, I got down to my weight loss goal and an additional 5 lbs under that so that I would have a “buffer” and not feel like I was always on a tightrope between being over my goal weight and under my goal weight.  The 5 lbs was to give me peace of mind that I could float in between those 5 lbs and not worry.  Through maintenance I got down ANOTHER 5 lbs on top of the 5 lb buffer so essentially I now had a 10 lb buffer.  That was never intentional, but just a by product of figuring out where I needed to be to stop the weight loss.

My surgeon’s office suggested that I “gain” those 5 lbs back so that I only had a 5 lb buffer.  I’ve almost done that, but I have to tell you that is really hard too.  I mean I KNOW how to gain weight, but to do it in a healthy manner has been challenging.  I think the fact that it’s taken me months to gain a couple of lbs shows that I’m doing it in a good, healthy way, but there’s something about seeing the numbers go UP on the scale that messes with your brain.  It’s scary.  It makes you question if you are losing control….are you going to wind up where you were…is this the end?  You know what I mean?  If I start to gain, can I stop it when I need to?  And while my head tells me that I totally have this and I’m strong and shouldn’t worry, self-doubt creeps in.  UGH!  I guess it’s just a subtle (or not so subtle) reminder of the mental piece of weight loss and obesity and how, no matter the success, you have to fight those habits and mental thoughts that have plagued us for years and years.

My stats to date:

  • Start Weight: 283.2
  • Achieved Goal Weight (included 5 lb buffer) on 2/12/16
  • Maintenance Goal:  Rock maintenance and stay between 140.0-145.0
  • Current Weight: 139.0

This week’s NSVs:

  • I’m happy to report that I’ve continued with my plank challenge beyond the 30 days and have successfully been planking at 3 minutes all week.
  • We leave on vacation next week and I’ll miss yoga for two weeks and that has me bummed.  What did I do?  Printed out great beach sequences so that when I’m by the ocean, I can still get in some yoga moves.  Go me!

As always, remember:

  • You are strong.
  • You are worthy.
  • Be kind to yourself.
  • Enjoy the journey.  LIVE!
  • Get out there and crush those goals!

Here’s to continuing this journey together!

Janell

Toxic Friends

Let’s talk a minute about toxic people.  Often when I hear “toxic people” mentioned it’s about a random person in somebody’s life vs. somebody that they are really close to.  But what if that toxic person has been your close friend for many, many years?

I have such a friend actually and, through this entire journey have learned that I have more than one.  I’ve really tried to understand why I ever let this person so deeply into my life to begin with because it’s become really, REALLY clear that they drain me.  Maybe when we have so much self-loathing and lack of worth we just “take what we can get” when it comes to friendships too?  I’m not sure about that but I think I need to explore this with my therapist too.  I’ve just come to realize that she drains me.  Talking to her leaves me empty – like I’ve cashed a check that I can’t cover emotionally.

One gift this journey has really given me is the insight to be thankful for what I have.  The motivation to make every day a great day.  The desire to want my dreams to come true and the realization that they WILL in time.  I don’t have time to cash emotional checks that I can’t cover (or that leaves you so drained it takes time passing to recover).  I’ve decided to let that friendship go.  Now I’m not going to be mean to her or just say “we aren’t friends anymore” but I’ve slowly been backing away from being her friend.  I’ve already observed me doing this over the past 2 months.  Emotionally though, I feel like I made peace this week that some friendships are just not meant to last forever. So I’m breathing in the new and exhaling the old, stale air that I’ve been allowing to weigh me down so to speak.

What about you?  Have you been made more aware of toxic people in YOUR life?  How are you handling that?  I don’t know about you, but I want to surround myself with those that make me better and inspire me to want more for myself.  I don’t need something draining me – life does that enough without giving it extra help!  🙂

My stats to date:

  • Start Weight: 283.2
  • Achieved Goal Weight (included 5 lb buffer) on 2/12/16
  • Maintenance Goal:  Rock maintenance and stay between 140.0-145.0
  • Current Weight: 138.0

This week’s NSVs:

  • When I went to number my food diary/log this week, I realized I’m on #86.  That means 86 weeks of tracking my calories, carbs, protein and liquids.  Seriously 86 weeks!  86 weeks of feeling worthy enough to take care of me.  I’d call that a pretty damn good NSV.
  • Today is the last day of a 30 day plank challenge that I decided to participate in.  I held forearm plank for 3 minutes, 30 seconds and did not die!  It felt a little like death, but I hung in there!  🙂  YAY!  You know what’s wild though?  I told my hubby today that I’m going to keep going with the challenge.  I’ve decided to continue holding a 3 minute plank every single day until that doesn’t feel like death anymore.  And then I’ll increase the time.  What?  Who am I?  A plank machine, that’s who!
  • My surgeon’s office staff (nurses and PA and such) were eating at a local breakfast place after a seminar.  My hubby and I were there eating breakfast too.  They all ran over, told me how great I looked.  They told my husband (most he had never met) what a wonderful, driven person I was and how much they enjoyed me.  They told him I always do everything right – very sweet!  What was funny though?  They all seemed VERY concerned with what I was seeing *them* eat.  LOL.  They kept making excuses for why they were eating pancakes, waffles, etc.  Cracked me up!  I kept telling them that they didn’t have the surgery – I did!  Just a turn of the tables and was sort of funny!

As always, remember:

  • You are strong.
  • You are worthy.
  • Be kind to yourself.
  • Enjoy the journey.  LIVE!
  • Get out there and crush those goals!

Here’s to continuing this journey together!

Janell

Failure is Necessary

Isn’t this the truth? To become a master at anything, it typically requires multiple failures.  It’s being able to stick with it that counts.  You have to be able to pick yourself up, dust yourself off and try again.  Giving up is easy, starting again is hard.  You know what I mean?  Now I’m not saying that I’m a master as it relates to this weight loss thing, but I can tell you this – I’ve failed a lot.  I’ve failed every diet I’ve tried.  This time it’s different.  Maybe it’s because this tool has given me more confidence.  Maybe it’s because I’ve finally learned through all that failure.  Maybe it’s because I’ve finally figured out the progress, not perfection motto.  Although I may never have this mastered, I plan to work on it every single day.  Every day I’m a work in progress and I focus on being stronger than the day before.  Whether that strength comes from plank challenges, resisting food I know I shouldn’t have or from doing aerial yoga, I’m stronger today than I was yesterday and that’s a great place to be.  How about you?

My stats to date:

  • Start Weight: 283.2
  • Achieved Goal Weight (included 5 lb buffer) on 2/12/16
  • Maintenance Goal:  Rock maintenance and stay between 140.0-145.0
  • Current Weight: 138.0

This week’s NSVs:

  • I had to pull my SMALL size Fitbit wrist band another notch tighter.  It cracks me up because I always thought of myself as big boned and I’m realizing that was just something I told myself to explain my “big-ness”.  And now I’ve realized I’m not big boned at all. I’m not sure I’m small boned, but big boned is not something that I am.
  • I signed up for Yoga for Athletes.  Am I an athlete?  I am not so sure, but I’m about to find out!  The fact that I even felt comfortable enough to pretend I’m an athlete made me giggle and feel proud actually.  I may not be a marathon runner, but I’m stronger than I was yesterday.  Damn straight I’m an athlete.

Be good to yourself,

Janell